


Where is my mind?

by winonavibes



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: F/M, I Don't Even Know, Joyce is a mess, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, What Have I Done
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-11 09:01:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19532605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winonavibes/pseuds/winonavibes
Summary: Joyce isn´t ready to let her feelings in. Especially not the ones concerning a certain Chief of Police.





	Where is my mind?

**Author's Note:**

> A/N  
> Hello there my fellow Jopper shippers! I hope you can enjoy my little one-shot here :) feel free to leave any form of (friendly) criticism in the comments!  
> Disclaimer: I (sadly) do not own any of the characters, I just play with them. :)

His name was still on her lips when she woke up all of a sudden. She knew it was too early to get up by the darkness that still filled her bedroom, but she had a feeling that she wouldn´t be able to fall asleep again. She sat up on the edge of her bed, trying to slow her breathing and after a while she felt a little calmer. _This is so stupid!_ she told herself again. She shouldn´t be thinking about him like that and most definitely not dream about him. They had developed some kind of friendship after everything that had happened last year and she definitely didn´t want that to change. No, everything would stay as it was right now. She sighed and got up, moving towards the kitchen, pulling out a cigarette out of the package that was laying on the table. She lit it up and sat down in one of the chairs. She was convinced that she only thought about him like that because he had help her rescue her son. He had gone to hell and back with her, it was just natural that she felt drawn to him because of that. “Grateful.”, she murmured to herself and took a long drag of her smoke. Still she couldn´t shake the images out of her head. The way he looked at her in her dreams, the way he touched her. She blew out the smoke and let her head drop to the table. The tingling feeling in her stomach and the radiating heat between her legs made it hard for her to focus. “This is stupid, Joyce. Don´t be stupid.”, she whispered to herself and tried to push the images out of her head. Like always they just stayed where they were. She knew that it was more, that it was a deeper feeling she had for him. She knew that she wanted him to be more than a friend, because friends didn´t long for the presence of one another every second of the day with the burning of a wildfire in their stomach and they most definitely didn´t dream about each other like that. She sighed and lit up another cigarette, deciding that her infatuation with him was a problem for another time.

The day almost flew by and Joyce was really glad that it was the weekend when she came home after work. Both of her sons sat at the kitchen table when she entered the house.  
“Hey mom.”, Jonathan said with a smile and got up to give her a hug. She smiled back and pulled him into her arms. Will stood up and put his arms around both of them, pulling them close and not letting go for at least a minute. When they finally let go of one another all three of them were smiling. Will talked about his day at school, Jonathan talked about Nancy and everything was normal. Everything felt normal.

When the doorbell rang Joyce was in her bedroom and had just slipped into something comfortable. She heard El´s excited voice even before she was back in the living room. When she entered the room, the kids were already gathering their things. She looked over to the door and there he stood, casually leaning against the wall. He wore casual clothes, something she didn´t get to see very often. The feeling that exploded in her stomach when her eyes met his was dizzying and she let out a small gasp.  
“Joyce.” The smile that he gave her was bright and sincere. She had to remind herself to breathe, when he came over to her and gave her a little kiss on top of her hair. Somehow this had become routine to them. She leaned herself against his shoulder and breathed in his scent. God, she wanted to stay here forever.

“Hey Hop.”, she murmured, her head still pressed against his body. Only when he raised a hand and stroked through her hair gently, she realized what she was doing. She took a step to the side. The heat that coursed through her body was almost overwhelming and she felt herself blush. Their kids were in the room, what was she thinking? She could see him looking at her from the corner of her eye, but kept her head straight and let her eyes wander around the kitchen instead.

Jonathan was still finishing his homework, while Will and El were already chattering about the weekend they had planned at the Wheeler´s. They were going to play all sorts of games, including Dungeons and Dragons, watch a lot of movies, probably talk about the newest comics or, in El´s case, books they had read and would be back on Sunday evening. Jonathan was going to drop them of there and at the same time pick up Nancy, so that they could go on the little weekend trip they had planned for months now. It was the first time in a while she had the house all to herself for a whole weekend and she was really thankful that Karen had made it possible for her, inviting all the kids over for the whole weekend. She had offered money for food but Karen had declined and told her that she would take care of everything and that she didn´t want to hear another word of it. Then her high school friend had pulled her into a hug and that had been the end of the discussion.

Joyce hadn´t even noticed him coming closer again, so when he asked, if she wanted a cigarette, very close to her ear, she winced involuntarily.  
“Jesus Christ, don´t do that!”, she groaned but it quickly turned into a smile when she heard him chuckle lightly. There was a moment of silence when their gazes met. He grinned down at her. “You wanna answer my question sometime today?” Although she had to blush again, she smirked back, almost challenging. “Well maybe, if you hadn´t sneaked up on me and almost scared me to death, I would have answered already.” His grin grew even brighter, before he just took her hand in his and made his way outside. He sat down on the porch swing and she sat down next to him, looking at their still entwined hands. She couldn´t help but letting out a small sigh.  
“What?”, he asked and turned to look at her. She looked up and met his gaze hesitantly, still not saying anything. “What is it, Joyce?”

She knew she couldn´t say what was on her mind without also telling him how she felt, so she just shook her head and gave him a small, reassuring smile. “It´s nothing, really. Just thinking about the old times, when everything was still normal.” He still didn´t look away. _Have his eyes always been so intense?_ she asked herself and the tingling feeling came back with a crash. _God, you shouldn´t be thinking that. You shouldn´t be thinking any of that! Why can´t you just be normal around him again?_ Her thoughts were swirling in her head, but she still didn´t look away. She couldn´t. She was caught by his deep blue eyes and the intensity of his gaze and the feeling she knew she shouldn´t have. There were so many reasons why having feelings for him was bad, but none of that mattered when she felt him getting closer, felt his hot breath ghosting over her mouth. Her heart was racing. She knew that if she let him get any closer, she wouldn´t be able to turn back anymore.

She pulled away and the spell was broken. “Didn´t we come out here to have a smoke?”, she asked and forced a smile on her lips, before pulling her hand out of his, reaching into his front pocket and pulling out his package of Camel. She pulled one out and handed it to him before taking out another. He lit both of them up. The silence between was thick with tension but she didn´t know what to say, so she just took another long drag from her cigarette and avoided to look at him.  
Both of them jumped when the door opened with a crash and the boys and El came out, all three of them laughing loudly. She put out her cigarette and saw Hopper doing the same next to her. Joyce could see the excitement in the kids´ eyes, so when they said their goodbyes to their parents quickly and a little rushed, she wasn´t mad at them at all. She knew she had held them back for a little while too long after everything that happened. They got in the car and she watched them drive away, a pained expression on her face.  
“You´re a good mother.”, Hopper suddenly said next to her. Joyce snorted, got up from the porch swing and leaned against the railing of her porch. She didn´t want to say anything, but the words just started flowing out of her mouth.

“I locked him in. I barely let him outside. I brought him to school and I picked him up. If and only if he was allowed to meet with his friend´s they had to come here most of the time. I couldn´t let him alone, I still can´t sometimes. God, it must have felt like a prison to him and it was.” Her voice was bitter before, but now it was just getting more and more hysterical. “It was. But I had to, it was the only way I could keep him safe! I had to be there for him, because the one time I wasn´t he was taken from me.” The tears were streaming down her face all of a sudden. “I wasn´t there for him and I couldn´t let that happen ever again. I...”  
He placed a hand on her shoulder and gently spun her around, pulling her into his arms. “Hey, hey... It´s alright. Let it out, ok? Just let it all out.”, he whispered against her hair and planted small kisses on it. The gesture was just so him. The knot inside her stomach untied and she felt it all, all the emotions she had tried to suppress. It came crashing down like a tidal wave and she could do nothing, nothing, but stand in his arms, sobbing heavily, trying to let go of everything. Even after her sobs died down and her tears stopped streaming down her face, she didn´t let go of him and he didn´t make a move to let her go either.

“I´m sorry.”, she whispered after a while. Her face was still pressed against his chest and she felt the wet spots her tears had left on his shirt. He tightened his arm around her again, pulling her even closer to him. “Don´t.”, he murmured against the top of her head. “There is nothing you have to be sorry for.” She pulled away a little and he let her. She took a deep breath and looked up at him. “I don´t know where this came from, I just…”, she began but he interrupted her, bringing his hand up to cup her cheek, brushing away what was left of her tears. “It´s ok. You really don´t have to explain anything to me. Not after all we´ve been through. Not after all you had to go through.” He placed a small kiss onto her forehead and she sighed when he let her go after that. Everything felt different now, not so clouded, like she could finally see again, feel again. “I think I needed that.”, she said and looked down on her hands. He still made her nervous, but it wasn´t a bad feeling anymore. It was more like a glow, soft and kind of tingling through her whole body. She could separate it now, after letting all the bad feelings she had held inside without letting herself feel them out. She could see that what she was feeling, wasn´t a bad feeling at all. Maybe you should stop overthinking this. Maybe you should just… feel it. Let it guide you somehow…

She looked up and into his still worried looking eyes. “Do you... maybe want to stay for a little while longer? We could have a drink or something.” She saw the surprise replacing the worry on his face and smiled at him lightly. He smiled back and shook his head in disbelief. “You never cease to surprise me, Joyce.” Instead of responding she took his hand and led him back inside and to the couch. She let go of his hand to go get them something to drink and he sat down.  
“You know, now that I think of it, you did that quite often, even back then. Surprising me, I mean.”, she heard him say from the living room. “Do you remember that one time you were pissed at Lonnie and broke his nose in the process?” She laughed as she put down two glasses and bottle of whiskey on the table in front of them, pouring both of them a glass. “Yeah I do. I don´t remember why I thought hitting him in the face would change anything though.” She sat down next to him, their knees almost touching. He grinned boyishly. “Well, it didn´t but I think it was the first time I heard him apologize to you and that was definitely worth it. He always treated you like shit. I think I had never been that surprised by you before, but I also was also kinda proud.” When she looked at him somewhat confused, he added: “That was a damn good right hook.” She couldn´t help the laugh that escaped her.

They both took a sip of their drinks and Joyce lit up another cigarette. “How do you still know all of this?”, she asked with a smile on her face. “That happened like centuries ago!” He smiled back and the took the cigarette out of her hand. He took a long drag, exhaling slowly. “I just do. It was one of the best days of my life.” She raised her eyebrows, but the smile didn´t leave her lips. “Because I was the one who got suspended instead of you?” He chuckled and took her hand in his again. He looked her in the eyes. “Because you finally saw that he was an asshole and that you deserved better. You still do. And maybe I thought…” He let his words trail off. His expression was suddenly serious and she could see something flaring up in his eyes. She took the burned-out cigarette from his other hand, put it in the ashtray on the table and squeezed the hand she was holding already lightly. “You thought what?” The intensity of his gaze almost made her shiver, but she couldn´t look away. “Maybe I thought that I could finally ask you out. Not that it mattered, you were back together after less than 24 hours and I never got my chance.”

She didn´t say anything for a moment. He quickly looked away and tried to get up. “Geez, I´m sorry, I shouldn´t have said that. I…” She stopped him from talking by pulling him back on the couch with her. “What if you got your chance now?”, she just asked, still not letting go of his hand. He looked a little dumbstruck, she noticed, and was about to repeat her question when his gaze softened. He looked almost nervous, when he asked: “Is that something you would want?” Instead of answering she put her free hand on his cheek and pulled him down to her. Her lips met his lightly, almost hesitantly, before she pulled away again. She could still feel his breath on her lips, but could also look in his eyes. She barely had time to register what she saw there, before he brought both of his hands to her face and pulled her up again. Their lips met feverishly this time. One of her hands was behind his back, pulling him as close as possible and the other one was clutching at the front of his shirt, holding onto it with dear life. His lips were soft and sweet and he tasted like whiskey and cigarettes. She felt intoxicated. When he parted her lips with his tongue, she let him in and he explored her mouth with a patience that was driving her mad. One of his hands moved downwards and under her shirt to touch her bare skin and the touch shot a bolt of electricity through her body. She had couldn´t hold back the gasp that she let out into his mouth. She could feel him smile against her lips, before he moved his head to the side and began kissing a way from her mouth over her cheek to right behind her ear and then down to her neck, where he licked and bit the skin gently. Her hands began wandering to the front of his shirt, reaching for the buttons of his shirt, as his mouth moved back up and met her lips again. Her head was spinning, when both of his hands were underneath her shirt, holding her by the waist and not doing anything more but caress the skin there. She was just fumbling with the last of the buttons when he pressed their foreheads together. Both of them were breathing heavily. He looked at her and his hands tightened slightly on her waist, as if he was afraid, she would vanish any second. “Are you sure?”, he whispered and she had to smile at his sudden hesitation. Without answering him she moved her hands across his now bare torso and slid his shirt from his shoulders. She felt him breathe in heavily, before he grabbed her wrist in his hand and stopped her from exploring his bare skin further. “Joyce,”, he mumbled gently, “I need to know if this is ok.” His eyes met hers and her smile brightened even more, when she saw how dark his eyes were with lust. She moved forward and placed a featherlight kiss on his collarbone. “I´ve waited for this for so long. Don´t make me wait any longer, Hop. Please.”, she whispered against his skin and felt him take a deep breath, before he pulled her up once more and their lips crashed.

Their clothes were shed pretty quickly after that and when both of them were left only in their underwear, Hopper grabbed her and lifted her up. His hands were on her ass and she wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck and he carried her to her bedroom. When he carefully laid her down on her bed and didn´t immediately follow, Joyce looked up at him, only to see his face light up as he took in the sight in front of him.  
“You´re fucking beautiful.”, he stated calmly. The statement made her shiver and blush involuntarily. She suddenly felt self-conscious with her plain white and boring underwear and crossed her arms in front of her chest quickly. He was on top of her in a second and pulled her arms away from her body and above her head, where he held them with one of his hands.  
“Don´t do that. I want to see all of you.”, he nuzzled against her neck, while his free hand sneaked up to her back and unhooked her bra with one swift move. The blush still hadn´t left Joyce´s face but she couldn´t help the teasing words that escaped her.  
“Still a show-off I see.” He chuckled darkly at her words as he began sucking at the spot where her neck and her shoulder met. She tried to hold back, but the little moan escaped her nonetheless. “Some things just don´t change.”, he stated, then let go of her hands to remove her bra completely. His mouth trailed a path down her neck, kissing, licking and sucking on her skin. As soon as he reached her breast, he took one of her nipples into his mouth, while his hand moved to the other. He caressed them until they hardened under his touch. After a while his mouth moved lower, across her stomach and he hooked his thumbs into her panties. He looked up at her, as if he was waiting for her confirmation. Joyce gave him a quick nod and he yanked away her underwear and threw it somewhere on the floor. No that it mattered, when he finally touched her there. His tongue was moving in flat strokes against her clit, whereas he started inserting one of his fingers into her slowly. She loved the scratching of his beard against the sensitive flesh of her inner thighs. He set a slow pace in the beginning, licking and sucking her clit, while his finger moved in and out of her rhythmically. When he added a second finger she was already panting and writhing beneath him. He definitely knew what he was doing down there. The way he crooked his fingers inside her and found just the spot that made her see stars again and again was just heavenly and she knew she was going to reach her peak soon. “More, please.”, she gasped, but instead of adding another digit he just sped up his movements. It didn´t take long until she reached her climax and he kept up his movements to draw out her pleasure. “God, Hop! Fuck!”, she cried out, not being able to build a coherent sentence anymore. When he moved upwards and kissed her, she could taste herself on his lips and it just intensified the feeling of dizziness and the once again building heat between her legs.

“I need you.”, Joyce gasped into his mouth and reached down between them to pull down his underwear. She only got to the middle of his thigh before Hopper had to take over the job. As soon as his boxers were sent flying into some corner of the room, she pulled him down again, connecting their lips desperately. She could feel the tip of his cock sliding up and down her clit and moaned in frustration. “Hop! Stop teasing! Ahh… Please!” She could feel him smile against her mouth, before he pulled away a little bit and pressed their foreheads together. “Everything you want, Joyce.” His had slid up to her head and cupped her cheek. “Everything.”  
The moment Hopper´s lips touched hers and she felt the tip of his cock pressing into her entrance, Joyce closed her eyes, overwhelmed by the feeling of fullness. Hopper moved slowly, carefully until he was fully sheathed inside of her. He stayed still for a moment, letting her adjust to his girth. Both of them were panting, little moans escaped into the silence of the room. After a few more seconds Joyce opened her eyes and met his gaze. There was a storm raging inside him, she could see it by just how dark his eyes were. “Move.”, she demanded and he was happy to comply. He tried not to go too hard, afraid that she wouldn´t be able to take it, but she would have none of that. She moved her hips upwards, forcing him in deeper, which coerced a deep growl from the back of his throat. “I´m not going to break, Hop.”, she declared between moans, as she kept meeting him for every thrust. “I. Need. More.”  
He sped up his movements, shifting slightly to get a better angle and began thrusting into her harder, faster, deeper. His mouth began sucking and biting her neck again, leaving a trail of marks that stood in sharp contrast to her light skin. Joyce couldn´t do anything but moan and gasp over and over as he drove her higher and higher. She knew Hopper was close too, when his thrusts began erratic. He brought one of his hands between them and began rubbing her clit in time with his thrusts. It was too much, an overload of sensations. She came with such a force that she saw stars for a moment, his cock still moving in and out of her, fucking her through her orgasm and she moaned his name as she let go. Her walls clenched and tightened around him and she felt his cock pulsating as he shot his load deep inside of her. As soon as he felt himself soften inside her, he pulled himself out of her and rolled to the side, lying next to her on his back.

“Jesus fucking Christ.”, Hopper just mumbled and Joyce had to chuckle at that. “Didn´t know you´ve become religious.” He didn´t respond but turned to face her and raised his hand to push a strand of her hair out of her face. She looked into his eyes and he moved forward to kiss her gently. When they parted, she moved closer to him. He laid his arm around her and she let her head rest against his shoulder.  
“What now?”, she asked after a few minutes of silence, the words sounding loud in the otherwise empty house. He pressed a small kiss to her temple before responding. “That depends.” She bit her lip unconsciously. Was this just another one-night stand for him? “Depends on what?”, she forced herself to ask, although she didn´t really know if she wanted to hear the answer. Hopper planted another kiss on the top of her head before he answered. “It depends on whether or not we feel the same way.” When she didn´t answer nor move at all he decided to keep on talking. “I didn´t want to say this, because I didn´t wanna rush into anything, but…” He took a deep breath, before sitting up and looking directly into her eyes. “I think I´m a little in love with you.” Joyce stared into his deep blue eyes, not quite being able to process what she had just heard. “Say that again.”, she whispered, not being able to look away for even a second. “Joyce, I think I´m a little in love with you.”

The relief spread through her body like a wildfire, leaving nothing but a glowing warmth and a light tingle. Instead of responding, she just pulled him close, closing her mouth over his in a deep, passionate kiss. When they parted, Hopper lied down again, pulling her with him. They just stayed like that, her head on his shoulder, his arm around her, eyes closed, drifting in and out of sleep, when Joyce suddenly spoke.  
“Hop?”, she whispered, barely audible, but he was awake in an instant. “Yeah?” He pulled her a little closer. She moved her hand over his chest and stopped right where she felt his heart beating. She felt safe for the first time in what must have been years.

“I think I´m a little in love with you too.”


End file.
